"I'm sorry Mrs. Marks, I'll try to be more careful next time."

While in Westchester, I'm renting a room from Mrs. Marks, a diminutive but feisty German octogenarian. I arrived while she was travelling, but in the first two days of her being back, here's what I've been yelled at for:

• Not parking my car far enough forward.
• Leaving the light on in the bathroom. (She left a note saying that if it happened again I wouldn't be allowed to use the bathroom anymore; then found on me on the porch to personally deliver the message.)
• Using a metal fork to stir pasta in an enamel pot instead of a wooden chopstick.
• Using a plastic (salad) fork to scoop rice out of a pot instead of a wooden spoon. (Followed up three minutes later by a somewhat quieter "Didn't your mother have different salad and serving spoons?")
• Throwing tissues in the trash can in my room without putting a garbage bag in.
• Letting pasta boil over, and dropping bits of dried pasta on the floor (can't argue with these).
• Putting my cup in a random part of the dishwasher instead of lined up with the others.
• Using too soft of a sponge to clean rice out of a pot.
• While sitting on the porch at night, opening the door too wide so that moisture would come into the house.
• Inadequately making my bed in the morning (She left a note "Welcome back, but have you forgotten how to make beds??").
• Sitting in her chair in the TV room. (This was not actually due to Mrs. Marks, but one of the other "inmates" (yes, that's what she calls boarders here) who warned me that she'd be displeased if she found me there.)

Mind you, I've had a few summers to get used to her. Hopefully this will all be worth it when Mrs. Marks lets me take pictures of her wielding her chainsaw.