11 November 2005

this time I really did learn from Wal-Mart

In response to a customer who wrote complaining that "Merry Christmas" had been replaced by "Happy Holidays" (via pandagon):
Walmart is a world wide organization and must remain conscious of this. The majority of the world still has different practices other than "christmas" which is an ancient tradition that has its roots in Siberian shamanism. The colors associated with "christmas" red and white are actually a representation of of the aminita mascera mushroom. Santa is also borrowed from the Caucuses, mistletoe from the Celts, yule log from the Goths, the time from the Visigoth and the tree from the worship of Baal. It is a wide wide world.
The Christians respond:
Catholic League president Bill Donohue speculated the writer of that e-mail was perhaps drunk.
Which is actually pretty fair; I would write that sort of email while drunk myself.

Update: The NYT weighs in and even they can't help but be funny. Also a grad student in the Bristol German department says that not all the credit for the xmas tree should go to Baal; 16-17c Germany played a vital role as well.


ahren said...

this means i can now demand amanitas mushrooms from my parents for christmas, and have a reasonable explanation, right?

dan said...

have you seen that new wal-mart documentary? i saw it the other day -- pretty good.

aram harrow said...

ahren: yeah, and when you're at someone's house with a christmas tree, you should take a few moments to consecrate it to baal.

dan: no, i haven't. and i don't know if i'll be in london for the only remaining screening, but i'd go if i were.

i've always wondered why i should uniquely reject wal-mart in favor of, say, k-mart. (or should've when in the u.s....) so maybe the documentary will help with that.